Being alone. [3]

Loneliness. I truly believe there is no greater pain than feeling alone. Don’t get me wrong, i have the most loving, caring family who would do anything for me. I’ve never had a lot of friends, but the ones i do have are so supportive and positive and are the ones who are getting me through this, they really are great. However, the loneliness i feel within myself is overwhelming, i miss my best friend every single hour of everyday, the one person who truly knew every detail about me, the one who made getting out of bed worthwhile everyday. I miss everything we had, i miss him making me laugh and telling him about my day after work. Everyone tells me it will get easier in time, but at the moment all i feel is pain. I’ve never missed anyone so much in my life. Breakups are hard, they’re more then hard – they’re soul destroying. I always felt kindness was always my biggest strength but now it feels like my biggest flaw or weakness, because i hope so much he isn’t feeling as devastated as me right now, i hope he’s happy and doing ok, the thought of him feeling lonely breaks my heart. But, then there’s a part of me that knows deep down that he is fine, and that he’s not crying at a computer screen right now missing me which in turn, makes me feel quite worthless and insignificant.

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