I really can’t. Everyday feels like it’s getting harder and harder when it should be getting easier. I feel like I am sinking and I just can’t stand up.
The grief I am carrying around with me is just not shifting, my anxiety is just not settling and the panic attacks just keep coming. I am now having anxiety attacks over situations that haven’t even happened yet – all that spins around and around and around in my head is that I am going to have to eventually see him with someone else and it sets me off into the most painful anxiety attack.
I just want it all to end, to wake up from this absolute nightmare. I just can’t process the fact he’s gone no matter how many times i think about it, it’s just not sinking in my stupid brain. Mental torture at its finest.