Letting go. [24]

So this is the blog post i have avoided writing because it is not something i have wanted to do and everytime i think about it, i can’t stop crying.

Letting go. For me this is the hardest thing i have ever truly had to do in my life, letting go of someone i love so much. It feels really unfair to be honest, he was mine and now he’s not and i’ll never be able to call him mine again. For me the loss is so great because he really was my best friend, six years is a really long time and i can’t even express how much we have shared and what a massive part of my life he is, or was. I have so many happy memories which i still can’t bare to part with, but i have to.

The cruelest part to this is i don’t want to live my life without him, i miss him, i miss his friendship, i don’t want him to be a stranger, i care about him so much and i always want to know that he’s ok. I never really understood the saying “if you love someone you should let them go“, but now i do, i love him that much that if loosing me will make him happy, then so be it.  I am so scared that he will forget me or a day will come where he doesn’t care about me anymore. I truly hope he will still be apart of my life, just not in the way i had imagined. To be honest i just have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

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