They say ‘don’t regret anything’ but actually there is a lot I regret. I don’t regret the relationship or being with him for so long, of course I don’t, he was my world and I feel so lucky to have the happiest memories. I just regret that I loved him so much, which isn’t actually something I should feel bad about, but I do.
I always put him first, all I focused on was trying everything I could do to make him happy, all I wanted to do was always look after him and id always be thinking of places I could take him. I was so proud to call him mine, I really believe nobody could ever love him more, I stood by him when a lot of people would of run a million miles.
But that’s the danger when you have a big heart, you do get taken advantage of, kindness is mistaken for weakness and when you get hurt, it really hurts. I really can’t imagine loving anyone else in this way, and now the sad thing is I don’t want to, I don’t want to give someone my all again because I never ever want anyone to cause me so much hurt and heartbreak again. I’m not angry at him at all, i am just angry at myself for being so gullible and naive to believe I was his forever.
The only option I have now is to focus on myself after all the years I haven’t.