I think i am one of the luckiest people in the world to have the ability to appreciate beauty others can’t see. I don’t know why, maybe because i have big heart, but i have always had the ability to ‘care’ for as long as i can remember.
As a child i didn’t have many friends and to be honest i was bullied for it for a long time. Kids can be really mean, i never did anything to anyone. I didn’t have many friends because i was just a very shy, closed person. I was isolated from near enough everyone in my class at one stage, i was always the girl who didn’t have a partner to buddy up with, and through seeing my therapist – I’ve learnt that actually this is where most of my anxiety roots from, and why i still find social activities today so hard because i am used to rejection or i don’t know how to be because i missed out on those social skills from a very young age.
This is always something I’ve grown to hate about myself, but actually now – i just don’t care. For all the times people isolated me on purpose, it made me appreciate any small nice thing anyone did for me, it made me love animals, (anyone who knows me will know how much i love animals) my pets were my saviours as a child. Best of all it gave me my big heart (even though it has been taken advantage of time and time again) atleast i am the one who can still forgive other people and i look above other peoples flaws without much difficulty because i can see who they are underneath, who still cares about other people and will always want to help someone when they feel like they haven’t got anyone else, because trust me i know what true loneliness feels like. I have so many reasons to be a bitter, nasty person but i’m not.
I am so proud that my kind heart isn’t forced, it’s just me. In 2017 i am going to use this gift to the best of its advantage. I will be posting my ideas as they come.