What do i do now? [39]

2017 is approaching and today i have been feeling quite stressed out about my future. I will be 25 next year and im now in the position i ever thought id be back in – back at home with my parents. I love living here and i am so lucky, but i have been so ashamed to tell everyone i am living back at home, that i failed and here i am an over grown teenager back with mum and dad. I loved my own place so much, i miss it every single day. I have worked out 3 options that i need to really think about to decide what the hell am i going to do with my life?!

Moving back out next year with a friend. I feel this would be good in some ways as i would get my independence back, and it would be socially good for me. But to be honest, i think it would make me extremely depressed having to share with someone after i have lived the dream of living in my own flat with the man i loved. I also wouldn’t be able to save, and living with a friend would only be a temporary thing, my anxiety would forever be thinking “what am i going to do next”.

I have worked out if i stay at home for another year, i can save around 13 thousand pounds (it would mean sacrificing a lot, but it might be my only time in my life to be able to save such a large amount of money), which in the future would be a massive chunk towards a deposit on my own place. I would be quite happy to live on my own, and would feel so proud to have made myself financially secure. I would just be worried to tell people i am still living at home in a years time?

My last option – go travelling. I could save for 6 months and then have enough to go travelling, i have always wanted to see the world for myself, my anxiety just always holds me back. I don’t have anyone to go with either which used to always scare me, but now i am used to my own company, it doesn’t scare me so much. I just don’t know if i have got enough courage in me to just do it. I would also be worried about when the dream ends – then what do i do? I’d probably still have to live at home and financially i wouldn’t be in a good position, i’d have to start all over again, or maybe i’d never come back!? equally this could be my only chance to go travelling?

I just feel so lost, i want to make the right decision but I’m just really not sure what is going to be best for my future? someone please help! what would you do?

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10 thoughts on “What do i do now? [39]

  1. If we didn’t have set backs then how do we learn? Life would be boring without the chaos haha. Such a difficult position you are in but don’t put so much pressure on yourself to have it all put together this year. Set realistic goals that you know you can achieve leaving you feeling a bit better about yourself rather than feeling like you have failed. We all set our own standards. As long as you are happy, what else matters? Focus more on you and less on how others will think of you. I’m actually jealous you get to return home, nothing beats mums food and does she do your washing? That would be heaven haha
    All the best, I look forward in watching you rise up from this dark space this new year
    Xoxo DaiseyDropper

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, reading this comment just made my day! Yeah I think that’s my problem that I put too much pressure on myself, and I’m forever worried what people think of me. My brain is just always going at a million miles an hour. She does the best food! and yes I have caught her doing my washing a few times haha! Thank you, me too I hope this time next year I’ll be thinking “wow I’m actually ok” rather then this horrible slog of a place I’m in ๐Ÿ˜ž let’s just hope I make a sensible decision! Happy New Year to you xXx

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      1. Live a life pleasing no one but you. You are number one.
        – listen to me. I give great advice but I also know the struggles entwined.
        If you have a chance to travel I would take it. If it is something you think you may regret in the future then don’t let anything get in your way. As much as you have to save and get on with your life a little trip may be just what you need before you dive straight back into paying bills and rent.
        Happy new year to you also.
        Xoxo DaiseyDropper ๐ŸŒผ

        Liked by 1 person

      2. you give great advice! I was up all night thinking about it really, I want to go travelling but realistically I don’t think I have got a good enough hold on my anxiety yet to go alone, and when I came home I would be still in the position I’m in now! It’s so hard to know what to do. Xx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I understand the anxiety. I can barely leave my house at the moment. It’s like a ball and chain. It holds us back from enjoying everything in life.
    The question is how long are we going to let it hold us back?
    Xoxo DaiseyDropper

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  3. Try to let go of all those judgements about moving back home with your parents. Statistics show that it is very common here in Australia, and that is probably amongst those who aren’t dealing with mental health issues.

    It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, but always try to be mindful that you aren’t at 100% right now. Allow yourself to be helped where appropriate and hopefully you’ll get back there faster ๐Ÿ™‚

    My personal opinion? Do a mixture of #2 and #3. Move back in with your parents, open up a separate bank account where you can put money aside and not touch it. Then start saving for travel as well !! I also wouldn’t put a time limit on staying with your parents unless you fear yourself getting a bit too comfortable there and need to give yourself a little kick out the door.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this Phil, it’s just so nice to have an outsiders opinion on the matter and not be judged! Yeah you’re right it is so easy to compare yourself to what everyone else is doing, I do feel a lot of pressure to sort my life out. I didn’t know you were in Australia! I hope it’s warmer then freezing cold England.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You should plan to visit Australia doing Christmas. It is not uncommon for people to spend it outside in the sun at a BBQ. As a kid I never put too much thought into that carol ‘frosty the snowman’. Poor old frosty would be a puddle here in Australia

        I can see a lot of the anxiety that I hold onto, comes from often misguided ideas of what I should and should not be doing in life.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’d love to go oneday, anywhere with heat and bbq’s sounds like bliss to me. The long flight does put me off because i hate the thought of having a panic attack and feeling trapped ๐Ÿ˜ฆ but i can’t let fears hold back. Yeah i think you’re right, the feeling of pressure to ‘be ok’ adds to my anxiety.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Not only is the flight long, but it is pretty costly!! Some friends traveled back home from London recently and they flew air china which was about half the price, but I think they had some pretty lousy connections.

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