I got attacked. [44]

Words can’t even describe how horrible last night was. So first of all I manage to control my anxiety and go out in the first place, face everything that I hate in aid to “have a good night like everyone else”

First of all my friend gets pushed backwards over a table and mugged, she didn’t do anything at all, she was just stood next to ‘their table’ , we are then separated in all the chaos, this obviously set off a panic attack straight away, so I went outside to find her – to then be attacked by the same two people. They grabbed me by the throat, threw me on the road and kicked me to a pulp, for absolutely no reason at all! I did drink last night, but I was by no means insanely drunk. What is wrong with people?

I’ve never been so terrified in my entire life. When someone finally came to help me, i had a complete nervous break down, I was retching but not actually being sick, I literally didn’t know what to do – not one person was picking up their phone, I was in a complete state of shock and despair. I literally sat there and thought “I’ve got no one in the world to look after me right now”

Finally my brother made contact with me and I did get home safe (and my friend is ok) but I am completely battered and bruised. I’m lucky i didn’t get badly hurt. But could life actually get any worse? What did I do to deserve this? This will damage my confidence forever and somehow my anxiety isn’t going to get over this very well. Just as I was feeling positive and trying to be at peace for the new year ahead, I get completely knocked down (literally). Happy new year everyone.

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18 thoughts on “I got attacked. [44]

  1. reflectionofdes

    Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry that your night turned out that way. The good part about everything is that you got home safe. It’s a shame people can’t enjoy themselves without anybody bothering them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. oh my god I can’t believe that happened. I’m so sorry to hear that you went through that shit šŸ˜¦ This is the kind of stuff our minds keep telling us will happen, but most of the time it doesn’t … but then what do you do when it actually happens?

    You had a real sense of empowerment in your previous post. I hope you feel better soon and are able to get back to that feeling of empowerment.

    Fucking assholes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Phil, I know it was terrifying! šŸ˜¦ luckily I’m ok, just badly bruised. You’re so right, all day I’ve been thinking “this is exactly why I stay at home”, it’s now going to be even harder for me to get my motivation up and get back out. Yeah, I can’t let this ruin me when I was in such a good mind set, I need to heal and find strength again! Thanks for the support it really does mean the world that there are nice, caring people out there!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Glad to hear that you’re okay.

        I think you’re definitely in need of some self care and self soothing. Time to look after yourself for a bit and do what puts a smile on your face šŸ™‚

        I feel the same way. Happy to help where and if I can.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. me too! yes i think i need to spend this month staying as calm and as relaxed as possible, I’m definitely not going to be thinking about going back out anytime soon, i know i shouldn’t be scared of the same thing happening, but it is a big set back when you have crippling anxiety! thanks same to you, always here to chat and listen!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thanks for the offer to chat, I am really enjoying our little back and forths here šŸ™‚ Please tell me if you feel I am overstepping when it comes to offering advice. My anxiety is always telling me that I might be overstepping.

        BTW, I think you should be concerned about the same thing happening again. You don’t want it to happen to you again do you?!??! But I think this is where anxiety sufferers and non anxiety sufferers differ. I think other people are able to regulate their emotions and fears so that they exercise greater caution but don’t let it stop them from their day to day life. I think that is one of the big distinctions of a mental illness, whether or not it interferes with our lives.

        So by all means take some time out for yourself, but try to be mindful of how tightly you hold onto that safety blanket.

        This actually reminds me of a situation I was in a few years ago, it should still be accessible on my blog as I documented it when I had a different direction for my wordpress experience. Have a read if you have time, it might be relevant to your current situation. I think the title is along the lines of ‘when xxxx becomes just fkn stupid’.

        Hope the pain is getting better, not worse

        Liked by 1 person

      4. No not at all!! You’re advise helps me so much, and it makes me realise that actually my blog is worth while, people do read it and understand. I still find it overwhelming that anyone does?! I felt so alone for so long mentally keeping in all this emotion and anxiety, having someone to let it out and connect with other people – who actually understand and don’t think I’m mental – has helped me no end. I am just about to have a look for that blog post, thanks so much again for your unending support. šŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  3. That is nuts! You poor thing, I am sorry to hear you had to begin the year this way. Unfortunately, there are pests like those who attacked you out there and there everywhere! Situations like this where people clearly have lost their brains and don’t think at all literally make me sick. I feel for you, and never wonder or doubt that no one gives a shit because you are important and you are amazing!
    XOXO DaiseyDropper

    Liked by 1 person

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