After Saturday nights attack, it has left me shaken up and all the bruising is really coming out now, it’s so sore and looks terrible! Obviously my general moral is low and my anxiety high, but today i woke up and just thought “this will not ruin today.”
Instead of staying in bed and feeling sorry for myself, i got up, did my make up and hair really nice, covered the bruises the best i could and went shopping with my mum. I treated myself to some new clothes from my favourite shop (Fat Face if anyone is wondering!) and brought some nice (quite pricey) beauty products. I have never been one for spending money or clothes or things for myself, but today i just thought “i really deserve to treat myself to nice things after what happened” and it actually made me feel great!
Since i have lost weight, just trying on the new clothes i brought made me feel so good about myself. Normally i would try things on and straight away take them back because i used to always think “i can’t wear that” or “you’re too fat to wear that” which was actually really unkind to myself.
When i came home, i run myself a hot bubble bath, lit my favourite candles and just soaked my poor body, relaxed and smothered myself in expensive beauty products. Despite Saturday nights events, i am now feeling a lot better then i anticipated – i can’t let arseholes ruin my days with worry, i didn’t do anything wrong and i deserve to feel good today. I’ll never forget what happened, and I’m sure the anxiety will always hit me next time i got out – but for just today, it was my day to look after myself.