I am trying my upmost to keep my spirits up and stay positive after everything that has happened to me lately, so tonight i have been reading some nice uplifting quotes to fill my time instead of letting my anxiety set in.
I am by no means “over” him, I still miss his company everyday, and it’s a loss which always hurts. But, i think very slowly i have started to accept that this is my life now. I can’t change anything, my god i wish i could – but i can’t. All i can do is accept that my life changed and i have to live in the present moment. Loosing him was never, ever on my agenda, but maybe this was supposed to happen to me, i have always believed in fate – maybe i am being pulled towards what it truly meant for me in life?
The sad thing is i just don’t want to loose him forever, or leave him behind, i still want him there, he is someone i always want to know – he knows too much, and I know him inside out. I don’t know if he feels the same way about me, what if he never wants to talk to me again. Or he forgets about me all togehter while rebuilding his life. I would be too terrified to ask, it’s an answer to a question i never want to hear. I’m sure in time i will find out. Until then, here’s to embracing whatever madness is thrown at me next. When life is cruel to you and you are forever suffering from your own demons, it is hard to remember all the goods things, i need to make more time for those good things this year.