I was blessed with some exciting new today, i got a new job! I am still completely shocked. I was approached for the role but after being told 17 people had also applied, i did not even consider myself a chance after the interview – how did this happen? Before the interview i had a panic attack and could barely get out the car. This is a great step forward for me in my life, it does involves a commute, but i don’t mind driving with the smashing pumpkins full blast, it’s better pay and far more fulfilling then what i am doing now.
I had therapy with Alan after work today, i can’t decide if i like him or despise him? I just know that after I’ve seen Alan i remember him a little less each time, which gives me a huge sense of relief and a huge sense sense of depression. This is never what i wanted, I miss him so fucking much, but i can’t keep fighting anymore.