Karma & changes. [125]

I have been told if i give up on my blog it will be a waste, so here i am, back again but I’m not sure if i will daily blog anymore.

So what’s new? – i’ve had a pretty crazy 3 days since Saturday nights events. Obviously from what i did i had to go see a doctor, i went in there expecting to be told “you’re mentally unstable, you’re going on anti-depressents” but actually it was the opposite, he said i don’t need them, instead i have to go to group therapy which i knew would be the case anyway. But it’s a different one out of town. I went last night, it wasn’t that scary, they were the fucking nicest people I’ve met in a long time, it wasn’t depressing either, no crying. I have a lot of changes to make but i feel for the first time quite confident i will get through this depression.

How does it feel to be told you were cheated on? – terrible, obviously. Devastated doesn’t quite cover it. I actually feel sorry for him, because the stupid bint clearly isn’t a nice girl because she also got involved in one of my friends relationships, i’ve seen the messages she sent to her boyfriend recently and they are fucking vile. I actually would like to make him aware because i do still care about him, but there’s no way i would. The whole thing is toxic to me and i don’t want to be apart of it.

Before i found out this lovely news, i was actually doing ok. New job, moving out, going travelling and i brought myself a brand new car!! I did all of those things on my own, independently, atleast for all the nights I’ve stayed in depressed and crying it means I’ve saved a hell of a lot of money to do all those things, the last hurdle for me now is just to find peace.

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