Time to heal. [127]

I’m not feeling better as in “I’m fine and over it now”. The though that he cheated on me still hurts beyond belief, but I’ve had a busy week with therapy and to be honest a few simple things I’ve been told has helped me get my mind back straight.

  1. It was ok to freak out and have a relapse – i know i had been doing well and have achieved a lot lately, being told i was cheated on did knock me back down, but i lost control because i care and i was completely heartbroken in every sense of the word – he was the love of my life, I’ll always love him no matter what and that’s not a bad thing. The bad thing is what i did,  i have to apologise but it’s too raw right now, i don’t feel like i should be the one apologising but i know in my heart i have to because it wasn’t fair.
  2. Being at group therapy has a very positive effect on me, the people are lovely and i feel like i have made friends already.
  3. To take comfort in the fact the pain is over now. There is nothing left to endure, I’ve experienced it all and (just about) got through the other side, my biggest anxiety and fear was that he cheated on me and would move on quickly and quite frankly he did both and i (almost) feel like nothing else will surprise me or hurt me. The only pain that still hurts is the really happy memories and the thought that i’ll live my life not knowing him. The thought is still unbearable for me.
  4. Now it’s time to heal, i think i have a lot over the past couple of months but now i want to start thriving again. To be honest the only thing i am focusing on is my travels and living my dream of doing wildlife conservation and taking my camera with me. I’m not interested in meeting someone else, probably because I’m too selfish now, Im used to being on my own and do not want someone distracting me from what I truly want. 🙏🏻🌍🦍🦀🌋🌴🌞

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