Sweet Sun [143]

Oh god this weather is so beautiful! I was driving this morning out on the country roads with the windows down and this song came on shuffle, it reminds me so much of Barcelona – my favourite city I’ve ever been to, I’ve been 4 times and that’s still not enough. I have to go back this year even if it’s just for the weekend.

Even though this song reminds me of when I went with him, I still love the memory. Sat on the beach at night and feeling so in love with the person I was with and (in my opinion) the most glorious chilled city. The vibe is so relaxing. I have so many funny memories from that holiday – we had a few too many cocktails on the beach.  I dropped my chocolate crepe down my white dress so I had to walk around looking like I had shat myself, and the panic of him needing to wee on a half an hour walk back to the hotel shuffling along with swim shorts that were rubbing his legs 😹 I now have nobody apart from on here to share these memories with. Precious moments in my life nobody can ever take away from me. I feel so blessed #take-me-back 🌞🙏🏻🌴🌊

Days like this are when I miss his company so much. I’d do anything to just go fishing in the sun with him again. The only way to cope with the pain is to file those precious moments safely away. The fat binty girlfriend or toxic people can crush me to the floor but they can’t take away my happy memories or my unconditional love. I think I have finally accepted to myself it’s ok to still carry that love, I wasn’t an idiot – I have have destroyed myself trying to remove that feeling but I can’t and I never will be able to because it’s just built inside me. Im not scared to believe we are connected either. I’m sick of being scared. Fighting depression one day at a time 🙏🏻

(Ps the louder you play this song, the better it sounds.)

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