Darius III [161]

Just scrolling through social media and a page I follow just posted this. It made my heart jump because I’ve seen this before. We had it framed on our wall. My memory of the flat is all abit of a blur but I just know this was the picture we brought together in Naples, in the archeological museum.

It’s simple things like this which make me miss my best friend so much, I can hear him in my head right now telling me the story of the battle (in great detail, it was never a quick story) but I was so in love with them anyway it didn’t matter. Please come back. Just for one day 😞

Trying to turn this post from negative to positive: I can’t really, those memories are so fucking precious. Completely irreplaceable. It’s just a shame I’m not. His new cheating GF (and thats’s exactly what she is, my god if i was a nasty person i would love to post all the screenshots on here of messages she’s been sending to someone else, but obviously I would never do that) would be quick to take down this picture. 

For me the worst part is feeling helpless, the fact she can do that to the person I treasure with all my heart makes my blood boil. If I told him I would straight away be excused of lying, or the crazy ex girlfriend – crazy yes, i’ll take that, but I just can’t get involved, yet I feel like I’m being dishonest to him by not telling him? but how can i? I can’t face anymore humiliation of when it comes back to hit me and not her. Or, if the other guy actually listens to me, he will never know that I was the one who battered him off. I did that for him, all out of love and because I don’t want him to get hurt, the hardest thing in the world for me to do because if anything I’ve now just pushed her closer to him, because she’ll be missing the attention from the other guy. All I want to do is protect him, I’m a protector and it’s so hard for me to just sit back watch, it goes against my whole gut instinct, but I have to on this one. Invisible might aswel be my middle name 👍🏻 atleast I’ll be there if he ever ends up needing me in life 🙏🏻 ugh why is life so painfully unfair. Actually no it’s not, I just have to remember all the refugees and animals I’m going to help, life is not fair to them, not me. 🌍

 Anyway, I’ll be back in Naples in 5 or so weeks, it will be fucking hard but I really don’t have a choice in it. I think I will try and find a small print of this though, I can frame it in my new place and just look at it and feel thankful for all the happiness it brought me.

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