I’m back from Italy! All the dread and anxiety before I went was nothing to worry about, as I had the best break away. I can’t tell you how great it felt to be away. I’m going to document a little bit of what happened in this blog so my future self can look back and remember:
The Wedding – The main reason for going to Italy, my brother got married in beautiful Sorrento, it was stunning, there are no other words, the photos say it all. It was all quite surreal. I was bridesmaid, in all honesty i’ve never felt so pretty in all my life, I am not a girly girl at all and i really did look like a roman princess. The day went so smoothly and perfectly, around 30 of us came out to Italy so it was really fun being away all together, lots of drinks and laughs, everyone was buzzing.
Emotions – If you follow my blog you’ll know how hard it was mentally for me to go back to the same place I went where I truly fell in love with someone. But I did it. I climbed Mt Vesuvius again and went back to Pompeii, it was really hard, the memories came flooding back, but I kept it together. The only time I had a cry was walking through Naples airport again. I really enjoyed Pompeii again, but I have to admit it wasn’t as enjoyable without him, I really missed his company, but atleast I proved to myself I can still carry on and enjoy the things I love on my own. My oldest brother was drunk on the wedding night and got emotional himself saying “I’m so sorry Emm, I wish he was still around too” and that set me off, it’s still really hard for me to comprehend that we will probably never talk again. How do you go from the most amazing memories to nothing? It aches my heart so much. but, other then that I think I coped really well, no panic attacks which is more then I could of hoped for.
Capri – Can we just take a moment to celebrate the fact I WENT TO CAPRI ISLAND ON MY OWN. I fucking did it! The anxiety sufferer clearly doesn’t suffer half as bad anymore. I got a ferry to the island which took about 40 mins, even this was quite challenging – i don’t speak Italian, I had no idea what deck to wait at, but i worked it all out for myself going out & coming back. When i arrived, i found my tour i had booked, awkward that i was the only person on my own – everyone else was in couples – but it wasn’t so bad. We went on a boat all around the island and into the caves / Blue Grotto – it was absolutely beautiful. Then we had lunch, I sat at the table on my own and my lovely tour guide came and sat with me (probably because he felt sorry for me) but he was the most gorgeous italian guy and it was great to just sit and chat about life, he even took my number to stay in touch! Capri was just brilliant, truly a day to remember.
Italy really does have a big place in my heart. I felt like the old me, I’ve missed exploring ruins and appreciating ancient history, it’s not the same without your best friend, but I’m my own best friend now. I’m feeling really proud of myself. I also went to a lemon vineyard and did lemonchello tasting, went to a museum on my own and explored some of the churches & cathedrals in Sorrento. Not to mention swimming in the clear sea water, we went snorkelling and you could see all these tiny fish and crabs, I loved it. loosing weight was the best thing I ever did, I would of never of gone swimming before. When I climbed the volcano again I flew up without needing to stop whereas last time it nearly killed me!
We also stayed in a beautiful hotel over looking the volcano, this hotel was perfect for me because it was eco-friendly. They recycled everything and had special toilets/showers to save water. The lights/power used to switch off in certain hours of the day to save energy. They gave you refillable water bottles to stop tourists buying a million plastic ones everyday. I donated my left over €50 note to their fund they have created to help keep Italy clean!
Now it’s time to look forward to my other trips which are getting closer by the day. Adventure awaits.. so exciting! I have so much to plan and sort out, I’ve booked my flight out but I honestly have no idea when I’m flying back. That doesn’t make me feel anxious though, just free.